couples and relationship counselling
why couples or relationship counselling?
Often times, people think that couples or relationship counselling is only for relationships that are experiencing high conflict, navigating issues of trust or betrayal, or undergoing high stress. While all of these are completely valid reasons, to seek out a relationship therapist, therapy can be an important part of maintaining the health of your relationship and laying a strong foundation before difficult patterns take root.
Navigating boundaries with multiple partners, working through communication challenges in neurodivergent relationships, overcoming old, protective patterns from past relationships or childhood, and finding ways to fight well are some of the many, valuable things you and your partner(s) can learn with the help of a relationship therapist..
what to expect from relationship counselling
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hearing your relationship story
Whether things are tough, you’re looking for a relationship check up, or you need support with specific stressors or conflict patterns, we’ll start with the story of your relationship. How did you meet, what drew you to each other, and what has the progression of your relationship looked like?
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identifying conflict patterns
Many relationships fall into the same patterns of communication and conflict: one person likes to talk it out, and the other needs space; or someone values independence while others need more closeness. Whatever your patterns are, identifying them is the first step towards interrupting and making change.
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individual interviews
It can be so beneficial for each person in a relationship to sit with the counsellor one-on-one to discuss more life history, personal challenges, and to address or identify any individual factors that may be present in the relationship counselling space. Usually about 30 minutes in length, this session will happen after the initial intake with your partner(s).
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homework - but not worksheets
Many people in relationship counselling appreciate having concrete tasks or tangible skills to work on in between sessions. The goal is for you to leave each session with a better understanding of yourself and your role in the relationship patterns, more empathy and insight into your partner, and something that you can actually work on or change.
what we can work on in relationship counselling
While there are often patterns and similarities that exist in most relationship dynamics, each relationship is unique in its structure, history, and goals. Here are some of the issues and concerns I most often work with.
Don’t see your relationship challenges on the list? that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily outside my scope. Please reach out with any specific questions.
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Communication is the number one issue my clients identify as a concern in relationships. This might look like:
feeling like you have the same fights over and over again without resolution
arguments that get heated, overwhelming, or intense, and not knowing how to pause
feeling shut down or frozen in the face of conflict or intense emotions
attachment styles and patterns that create reactions and conflict, and feel out of your control
strong, opposing opinions on important topics that you can’t agree to disagree on
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Perhaps a topic that most people feel shy, embarrassed, or uncertain to bring up to a therapist, but one of the most frequent topics that shows up in the relationship therapy space: sex.
a level of desire or frequency of intimacy “discrepancy” or gap that makes someone feel rejected or lonely, and another feel obligated or resentful
one partner feeling like they need intimacy to feel connected emotionally, and another feeling like they need emotional connection to feel sexual
the loss of the “spark”, or no time for intimacy in the hustle and bustle of work, kids, and life obligations
desires, fantasies, or sexual preferences that are difficult to discuss
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In inter-abled relationships, or in relationships where multiple partners are disabled or living with chronic illness, there can be very specific challenges that can benefit from the spport of a professional.
Guilt, shame, the need for reassurance, or to feel “useful” and compensate for illness or disability
Caregiver stress, the “parentification” of the non-disabled partner, and burnout
Navigating intimacy, sex, and emotional needs while managing complex health conditions
Boundaries on caregiving, and managing self care while caring for a sick or disabled partner
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Finding a relationship therapist who is knowledgable, informed about, and not judgemental of non-monogamy or kinky relationships can be challenging. It can feel very important to know your therapist is aware of and comfortable with discussing the nuances of:
ethical or consensual non-monogamy
polyamory and multiple relationships
D/s dynamics, play partners, and Risk Aware Consensual Kink
the legal, ethical, and moral considerations of sex work as a valid, valuable form of labour
fees & pricing
get more sessions for less with lower than average fee per session
Intake session: $200
Our initial session is booked for 75 - 90 minutes, and involves going over policies, informed consent, and getting to know each other. We’ll talk about the history of your relationship, your strengths and challenges, and your goals for therapy.
You will receive digital copies of our policies, consent forms, and intake form to fill out and sign before the session.
75 minute session: $180
Each follow-up session is scheduled for 75 minutes, and will make up the majority of our sessions together.
Most of what we will do together is work through communication challenges, ongoing issues, and learn the skills and tools required to promote a happy, healthy, respectful relationship.
Individual interviews: $180
Each partner will meet one on one with the therapist for a more in depth conversation on their individual background and history. This portion typically takes about 30 minutes per partner.
Expect to share about your family of origin, past relationships, and anything you may not have gotten a chance to discuss in the intake session.
LET’S GET STARTED
